Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
