thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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