very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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