he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need a beard to bite.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
