If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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