honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's always time for handjobs
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
