I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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