how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
