I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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