atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
