Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
