I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
