And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
