So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
