Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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