my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
