Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
