We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
