I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
