i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
