im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
do nipples grow back?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
