after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's like heaven, but drunker
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
