I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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