White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it glows. i had to have it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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