so explain again why im purple
no
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He passed out mid-signature
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
