Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
