I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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