i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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