Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Your tits are I can't wait for
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
