Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
