Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so let's talk penis.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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