Tell her she can't have a vagina
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
