he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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