omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
