How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
