someone threw a dead crab at me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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