so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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