I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
meet me or not, i'm out of control
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
