Dual....:-)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
