he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
