We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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