I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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