I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
