Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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