He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's paint friendship bongs
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
