Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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