Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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