I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
