So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
