I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Drunk is not a location!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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