I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
