Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
