I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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