yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Houston, we have a blender
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
