I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
