is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
