is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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