remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
